As I sit here to write about Ellarie’s arrival, I am overwhelmed with joy and love. Giving birth to her was truly an amazing and empowering experience for me. I am so grateful for the love and support of all of our family. Without you, this experience would have been much more stressful for us, as a family, and I am forever grateful for all of the help you have given us. Especially her grandparents, Vickie, Tim, and my mom who all travelled to Asheville to support us pre and post delivery. You are the best!
I had really wanted to have Ellarie naturally. I had tried with Holden, arriving at the hospital at 7 centimeters dilated, but was unsuccessful. I found that I had not adequately prepared myself to take on a natural birth. So, I decided to do more research, planning, and preparing this time. I practiced prenatal yoga, read a few books by Ina May Gaskin, and went to a presentation of Ina’s as well. After reading many natural birth stories, I really began to believe this could be possible. Through yoga, I learned over time how to become more mindful and how to focus my breathing. I debated on whether or not I should have a doula to help me through this process as well. In the end, I decided that I could do this on my own and tried to ignore any doubts that would arise in my mind.
I had been 3cm and 75% effaced since my 37 week appointment at the OB-GYN. I was eager for Ellarie’s arrival, looking forward to being done being pregnant (it was much harder on me this time around), and kept thinking that “today is the day”. I had had a lot of false labor leading up to Ellarie’s arrival as well which was frustrating as it would get my hopes up and effect my sleep.
So when true labor began, I was of course skeptical. The contractions felt more real, still very mild and were at least 15-18 minutes apart. This began at 5pm on 5/6/13. We ate dinner and Matt and I went for a walk together. Contractions were masked by discomfort from walking and I began to think that the contractions had stopped again. But then shortly around 8 or 9pm I realized that they were still coming about every 15 minutes of so apart. I tried to get some sleep but could not as Ellarie was moving around like crazy between contractions, causing me to have to pee a lot:) So around 11pm, I came out to the living room and started watching TV. Contractions were about 8 minutes apart at this time but still pretty mild and manageable. I baked cookies for the nurses at the hospital and watched some episodes of Mad Men on Netflix. Around 1:00am the contractions were getting stronger but were still about 7 or 8 minutes apart. I began to wonder how long it would be until they would be at the magical 5 minutes apart for 1 hour so that I could head to the hospital and partake in their many natural birth amenities including a birthing room with a big tub. Contractions being 5 minutes apart was our indicator that I should start thinking about heading to the hospital. That never happened. Around 2am the contractions went from 7-8 minutes apart to 2-2 1/2 minutes apart. This lasted for 15 minutes so I decided to take a shower incase I had to head to the hospital. The contractions held strong at 2 minutes apart for another 15 minutes and were much more intense. Holden woke up at this point and said, “why are you huffing and puffing mommy?” Luckily I was still managing them well so I didn’t scare him. I woke Matt up and told him to pack the car, we had to get to the hospital quickly. We arrived at the hospital around 3am and, after checking me, the nurse told me that I was already 8-9 cm dilated and 100% effaced. The baby though was very high up in the birth canal and had a “long way to go before coming out.” The nurse quickly paged my doctor and checked me in. I walked down to my labor/delivery room, having contractions along the way, and was greeted by our nurse, Pam. When I got settled in, it was around 3:30am. Contractions were strong and seemed to be coming quickly. My doctor arrived and checked me at 3:45. She and I talked about breaking my water as I had a “big bulging bag” according to her. I was scared at how intense the contractions would become once the bag was broken but my doctor strongly believed that the baby would come shortly after that occurred. The nurse was super encouraging and said that if I was handling my contractions as well as I had been, I would be able to do it naturally. I had doubts but did not voice them as I was afraid to give them any credit. I continued with my mindful, deep breathing and just tried to focus through each contraction. About 3-4 contractions occurred after my water was broken. I started to feel a lot of pressure and announced that either I was going to poop or the baby was coming. Everyone started to get prepared but then I quickly reported that I had the sensation that I was really going to poop and my doctor decided to sit me forward and check the position of the head. To her surprise, the head was right there. I began a process of almost involuntary pushing. It was automatic and I could not stop it. The doctor threw her gown on when the head started to come out. The nurse, Pam, and Matt quickly picked up my legs, I pushed, and out came the entire head followed quickly by the body. Ellarie Anne was delivered at 4am, just 1 hour after we had checked into the hospital and 30 minutes after I arrived in my labor and delivery room.
We had some complications after delivery as Ellarie was blue, with retractions, and increased respiratory rate but after some deep suctioning, stimulation, and skin to skin contact, she was stronger and doing well. I also had some difficulties with increased bleeding as my uterus wasn’t contracting enough to stop blood flow after delivery so the doctor put me on an IV of Pitocin and that seemed to help a lot.
I used to think that if I could run a marathon, I could have a natural child birth without too much difficulty as I was disciplined and strong. Now I realize how wrong I was. I now know, due to the tremendous feeling of empowerment and strength after delivering Ellarie naturally, that if I could do that, I could accomplish anything that I set my mind to.
So without further ado, we introduce our little girl, Ellarie Anne Frazier. Born 5/7/13 at 4:00am, weighing 7 lb 5 oz, 19 1/4 inches long. We are so blessed and happy!
